For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7 says "I do not understand what I do. truth be told I only came across this song because Tim Keller (pastor of Redeemer Church in NY) quoted him in one of his sermons. BUT I might be one of those annoying Christians you speak of. being a psychology major myself I agree with you on the childhood issue. I doubt that god enters into everything stevens does -sure his religion is an influence but I think it would be a mistake to say that his beliefs influence his songs any more than say, the town where he grew up or his childhood. I love the purity of his spirituality (he references faults of and doubts about his god in his lyrics.) It's like theyre *claiming* him and every song he's ever written for god. It always annoys me slightly when christians try to read too much into sufjan.
In this respect the song is partly about a loss of innocence and the mystery behind why similar people take different paths. When he says "and in my best behaviour" it's like he's transporting himself back to his childhood (no adults seriously talk about themselves as being 'on their best behaviour') for the purposes of comparing himself directly with Gacy.
To all intents and purposes there is no reason that I, nor Sufjan can work out why Gacy turned out the way he did and Sufjan did not. He gives a few little details which underline this. The majority of the time when he refers to Gacy he talks about his childhood -and its normality. General CommentI thought that it was pretty clear why he describes Gacy as being "just like him". We have all done things that we never thought we were capable of, and although we may want to deny it, we are all in some way like John Wayne Gacy, Jr. His murders just go to show that human species is truly capable of evil, because we don't have control over how we are raised. But what control did Gacy have over his troubled childhood, his indifferent father, or even his urge to kill and molest those boys? Could John Wayne Gacy's murderous tendancies be credited to the sins of other human beings? And did he deserve to become the troubled man that he became? Stevens is trying to say that nobody has the right to classify him as a 'monster', because ultimately he was just as much a human being as anybody else, a human distorted by the inevitable evil of the human condition.Īny one of us could have turned out like Gacy. People always end up regreting and questioning the bad things they do, as if they didn't really mean it and it was beyond their control. But you have to wonder how Stevens could possibly vilify himself to that level of evil after hearing that chilling final verse.Įven though I believe Sufjan Steven's prominent religious themes are discussed too heavily when it comes to discussing the meanings of his songs, ultimately I think Stevens is asking here "what constitutes a sin?" If 'sinners' go to hell, and every human is inclined to hurt someone and commit sin at some point in their life, doesn't that mean we're all going to hell? Are we really forgiveable for the sins we commit? Is murder really 'the ultimate sin', or is Stevens as guilty as Gacy for having sinned against others for his own sake? It's unfortunate that he couldn't overcome his demons and that 33 lives were lost because of this. And although there's no question that John Wayne Gacy's actions were horrendous and terrible, you have to feel sympathy for the man for becoming mentally instable enough to commit such vile acts.
#WHO SANG SOMEWHERE BETWEEN JESUS AND JOHN WAYNE SERIAL#
To not only empthize with America's most notorious serial killers but compare yourself directly to him is the most daring things I've ever seen/heard done lyrically, and it's completely changed my opinions on the nature of evil.
My InterpretationThe most haunting and thought-provoking song I've ever heard.